Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Wedding - Christopher Butting & Kimberly Foutain

The Sacred Bonds of Holy Matrimony will be exchanged by Christopher Butting and Kimberly Foutain on Friday, September 21 at 4:00 p.m. Please pray for this couple about to be married.

Wedding - Joseph Chiappalone & Victoria White

The Sacred Bonds of Holy Matrimony will be exchanged by Joseph Chiappalone and Victoria White on Sunday, September 16 at 3:00 p.m. Please pray for this couple about to be married.

Wedding - Christopher Hayes & Karen Narewski

The Sacred Bonds of Holy Matrimony will be exchanged by Christopher Hayes and Karen Narewski on Saturday, September 15 at 3:00 p.m. at St. Kateri (due to Community Day). Please pray for this couple about to be married.

Funeral Mass - Frank DiMaggio

A Mass of Christian Burial will be offered for the repose of the soul of Frank DiMaggio on Friday, September 14 at 9:00 a.m. Please pray for him and for his family.

Monday, September 10, 2018

Abuse Crisis

This will be printed in the September 16 Bulletin 

From Father Michael
At our Parish Council last Monday, we had an open discussion about the recent events in the Catholic Church. All expressed sadness that so many lives have been affected and that so many people have been hurt. The question was asked – what can we do as a parish?  I ask your patience for just a little while as I recuperate from surgery. In October, we plan to offer opportunities for parishioners to come together in discussion and in prayer. In the meantime, these resources were mentioned as helpful to Council members:
-         The recent CARA study can be found on “1964,” a research blog published by the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate. The post appeared, with updates, beginning on August 28. The study was also published in America Magazine.
-         Bishop Robert Barron can be found on YouTube. Watch “Bishop Barron Q & A about the Sexual Abuse Crisis” and “Why Remain Catholic with So Much Scandal?”
-         A recommended book is “Hurting in the Church: A Way Forward for Wounded Catholics” by Father Thomas Berg (well known to parishioners as he served at St. Columba).

Saturday, September 8, 2018

Funeral Mass - Rachel Githhaiga

A Mass of Christian Burial will be offered for the repose of the soul of Rachel Githaiga on Friday, September 14 at 10:00 a.m. Please pray for her and for her family. NOTE - This Mass will be offered in Swahili by Father Frederick.

Funeral Mass - Donald Johnson

A Mass of Christian Burial will be offered for the repose of the soul of Donald Johnson on Monday, September 10 at 10:00 a.m. Please pray for him and for his family. The celebrant will be Father Emil from Graymoor.

Wedding - Randy Werkmeister & Mary McGovern

Randy Werkmeister and Mary McGovern will exchange the Sacred Vows of Holy Matrimony on Sunday, September 9 at 3:00 p.m. Please pray for this couple about to be married.

Presentation Sisters Jubilee - Sept 8, 2018

Your Excellency Bishop Chappetto, Father Jeff, Dear Sisters of the Presentation and Jubilarians, and dear friends.
I am delighted to be with you today. As some may know, I was educated by Presentation Sisters at St. John & Mary in Chappaqua. When I was the Pastor of Sacred Heart in Highland Falls from1996-2002, I worked together with Sister Carol, who is being honored today
This summer, I had the opportunity to journey on the Way of St. Paul in Greece and Turkey. One stop was in Ephesus, the site of the famous riot of the silversmiths. But it also has a connection to Mary and St. John. At the foot of the cross, Jesus said to Mary – Behold, thy son. And to John – Behold, thy Mother. And from that hour the disciple took her into his care. For a period, she actually lived with him in Ephesus – called Mary’s House. Years later, in Ephesus, she received the title Mother of God. Her constant Yes to the Father teaches us how to be sons and daughters of God.
Today I am reminded of a wonderful daughter of God - the Venerable Nano Nagle, from the Nagle Mountains in County Cork. She lived in difficult times. As a child, her classroom was among the bushes and trees. The Penal Laws were in force, and it was against the law to educate Catholics. When she reached age 10, her parents decided to secretly send her to France to get a good education. There, Nano had a good life. But one day, she was in a carriage with friends. She passed a group of poor people huddled in the cold waiting for the church to open for Mass. It would change her life. How would she say Yes to God now?
After her dad died she returned home and saw the same terrible poverty. Eventually she would found a small school for poor children – then another. After school, she did not stop, she would visit the poor, sick and elderly. She became – The Lady With The Lantern.  Her moto was “Not words but deeds” a constant yes!
Without any doubt, this can be said to be the motto of the Jubilarians here today:
Sister Clare Roche, who worked in poor Missions in Houma Louisiana & Henry Street in NYC
Sister Mary Lusk, who imitated Nano Nagle’s love for children and taught them.
Sister Julia Ciccolini, who reached out to those suffering with AIDS
Sister Ann Daly, who loved to watch her students grow, and now cares for the dying in Hospice
Sister Joan Dombrowski, who now works in a Safe House for trafficked women.
Sister Christine Liegey, who now trains people in the Ministry of Consolation and volunteers at a funeral home, comforting those who have lost loved ones.
Sister Dale McDonald, who was President of the Community for 2 terms and taught countless children and adults.
Sister Carol Melsopp, who used the Workshop Way to teach God’s special and personal love for each student.
Sister Margaret Murphy, who gave her life to teaching children and leading Catholic schools
Sister Kathleen Treanor, who also taught countless children and was a dedicated leader of Catholic schools
Sister Patricia Morrison who was told recently by a former student – you influenced my integrity, fairness and sense of justice more than anyone else in the world.
Don’t you agree – Nano Nagle would be so proud of these her daughters! They are a shining example to each of us! Daughters of God - Ladies with the Lantern – bearing the light of Christ to all. They said Yes!
I am reminded of the writer, John Ruskin. It was back in the days before electricity. Lamps in town were powered by gas. It was the job of the lamp lighter to light the lamps each evening.
Well, John Ruskin was sitting on his porch with a friend. They had a beautiful view of the valley. As evening came on, the lamplighter appeared. One by one he lit his lamps. After a while, you could no longer see the lamplighter, only the lights.  John Ruskin turned to his friend – "There’s a good illustration of a Christian. People may never have known him, they may never have met him, they may never even have seen him, but they know he passed through their world by the trail of lights he left behind him."
Well, we have been honored to know them, we have met them, we have seen them, and yes, they have left a trail of lights!!! God bless you for all you have done and who you are – Sisters of the Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Ad Multos Annos!

Thursday, September 6, 2018

From CARA in America Magazine

This post originally appeared on Aug. 28 on 1964, a research blog published by the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate. It has since been updated with new information, as noted below.
As a survey researcher who has studied Catholic reactions to news of allegations of clergy sexual abuse of minors since 2002, I have noticed that there is a detail about the crisis that seems to get distorted at times. In 2012, the last time we asked Catholics about the crisis in a national poll, 21 percent of adult Catholics could correctly identify that the abuse cases were more common before 1985 than since. The fact that any abuse occurred at all, regardless of when, is horrifying to me, and the victims deserve justice and anything that could help them with the damages that resulted from these criminal acts. Yet this detail is important in understanding the causes of the scandal, what legal actions are possible and the steps that can be taken to prevent any future abuse.
Only 21 percent of adult Catholics could correctly identify that the abuse cases were more common before 1985 than since.

The authors of the Pennsylvania grand jury report were careful to note, “We know that the bulk of the discussion in this report concerns events that occurred before the early 2000’s” (see Page 6). At the same time they correctly note that abuse “has not yet disappeared” and there are a couple of more recent allegations detailed in their findings.
The most common decade of birth for alleged abusers was the 1930s. (CARA)
As they note, “Many of the priests who we profile here are dead” (Page 12). Dates for birth, year of ordination and death are not available for all the accused in the report (some are seminarians or brothers and were never ordained). But 44 percent of the accused in the report are known to be dead (five were born in the 19th century). Their average age at death was 73. Among the accused who are still alive or presumed alive, the average age today is 71. Priests accused of abuse in the Pennsylvania grand jury report, on average, were born in 1933 and ordained as priests in 1961. Outside of Pennsylvania, allegations of abuse have also been levied recently against former Cardinal Theodore McCarrick. He was similarly born in 1930 and ordained a priest in 1958.
There is something to this generational pattern, and this finding was first uncovered in the scientific study of the abuse crisis in 2004 by researchers at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice. They noted in 2004, “The majority of men in this study were born between 1920 and 1950 and were ordained in their mid- to late-twenties.” The most common decade of birth for alleged abusers was the 1930s and the most common decade of ordination was the 1960s. This profile has not changed in allegations that emerged in the 14 years that have followed—including the recent grand jury report. No new wave of abuse has emerged in the United States.

The same scandal with new details

The clergy sex abuse scandal unfolding in the news today is the same public scandal that erupted with national media reports in 2002 (beginning in Boston). It is likely, but no one can be sure, that the cases in the grand jury report have already been present in existing allegation totals (reports to the John Jay researchers are cited as a source for information about allegations in the grand jury report). Just as then, the abuse in the headlines most often occurred in the 1960s through the 1980s.
What is new in the Pennsylvania grand jury report is a level of detail that previous investigations have not often included. The authors report on a “playbook” that church leaders allegedly used to handle allegations of clergy sex abuse in the state prior to 2002. “It seemed as if there was a script. Through the end of the 20th century, the dioceses developed consistent strategies for hiding child sex abuse” (Page 297). This strategy included the use of euphemisms in documentation that minimized abuse as conduct that was “inappropriate” or related to “boundary issues.” The dioceses’ investigations appeared to be deficient or biased, according to the grand jury. Many accused priests were sent for treatment in a clinical approach to the abuse rather than what should have occurred—criminal reporting. Once these treatments were considered complete, abusers were often returned to ministry in new assignments. The allegations were rarely, if ever, disclosed publicly. Victims rarely received the care they needed, let alone justice. The grand jury concludes, “The repeating pattern of the bishops’ behavior left us with no doubt that, even decades ago, the church understood that the problem was prevalent” (Page 300). Further, “The bishops weren’t just aware of what was going on; they were immersed in it. And they went to great lengths to keep it secret. The secrecy helped spread the disease” (Page 300).
“It seemed as if there was a script. Through the end of the 20th century, the dioceses developed consistent strategies for hiding child sex abuse.”

This strategy is not entirely dissimilar to the responses of other institutions when faced with any accusations of sexual abuse of minors, whether it has been scouting groupspublic schoolsprep schoolsuniversities or youth athletics. These types of institutions seem to attract sexual abusers of minors who seek positions of trust and respect with access to young people. The John Jay researchers noted in 2011: “Sexual victimization of children is a serious and pervasive issue in society. It is present in families, and it is not uncommon in institutions where adults form mentoring and nurturing relationships with adolescents, including schools and religious, sports, and social organizations” (Page 5).
The church failed in responding to accusations of abuse and more often chose to cover up the criminal activity than disclose and report it. The church in some cases sought nondisclosure agreements in civil settlements with victims—a practice that the grand jury believes should be abolished. What was often different in the church than elsewhere, especially prior to 2000, was the clinical response to abuse—sending abusers for treatment and allowing them to return to ministry after this was completed. These were grave errors in judgment. This allowed abusers the potential to return to work and continue to abuse. It also ignored the legal obligation to seek justice for crimes committed.
That playbook, to the degree it was used broadly, appears to have changed in 2002. The grand jury report’s authors note, “On the whole, the 2002 [Dallas] Charter did move things in the right direction” and that “external forces have also generated much of the change” (Page 302). They note with concern that the church’s 2002 Dallas Charter—officially called The Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People—still leaves too much of the decision making to diocesan bishops. But the external changes brought by mandated abuse reporter laws, longer statutes of limitations and increased public awareness have created a new reality. They write, “Today we sense some progress is made” (p. 303), often by actors external to the church rather than from within it.

New allegations of abuse

Have new allegations of abuse declined as a result? The John Jay researchers aggregated the number of allegations of clergy sexual abuse of minors from 1950 to 2002. Their study included allegations made by 10,667 individuals. CARA has collected the numbers of new allegations of sexual abuse by clergy since 2004. CARA’s studies, through 2017, include 8,694 allegations. The distribution of cases reported to CARA are nearly identical to the distribution of cases, over time, in John Jay’s results. We know the year that each alleged abuse began for 8,206 cases. For 488, this is not known. The chart below left shows the cases where we can place these in time.
New abuse allegations have not disappeared, but they have become far less common.
New abuse allegations have not disappeared. In the last three years, 22 allegations of abuse occurring during 2015-2017 have been made. This is an average of about seven per year nationwide in the church. That is far too many. Nothing is acceptable other than zero. At the same time, to put those reports in some context, 42 teachers in the state of Pennsylvania, where the grand jury reported from, lost their licenses to educate for sexual misconduct in 2017. As recently as 2015, 65 teachers in the Los Angeles Unified School District (L.A.U.S.D.) were in “teacher jail” for accusations of sexual abuse or harassment in that county alone. The current wave of educator sexual misconduct has yet to receive the same aggregation and attention that clergy sexual abuse has by the media (although The Washington Post has rung a warning bell and Carol Shakeshaft has written extensively on it in academic work). As the John Jay researchers note, “No other institution has undertaken a public study of sexual abuse and, as a result, there are no comparable data to those collected and reported by the Catholic Church” (Page 5).
The current wave of educator sexual misconduct has yet to receive the same aggregation and attention that clergy sexual abuse has by the media.

“It is happening in other institutions” is by no means any sort of excuse and that is not what is intended by referring to these realities. Instead, these other cases provide a context, which becomes important when someone who reads news of abuse occurring decades ago in churches in Pennsylvania decides to attack a priest today in Indiana or when a parent feels their children will be less safe in a Catholic school than a public school. It also points to the dangers of thinking that incidents of sexual abuse are unique to Catholic institutions.
As the grand jury report authors note, the church has changed in the last 15 years. But you cannot “fix” the past nor can it be erased. This won’t all fade away. It’s nothing that can ever be outrun. You have to deal with it. The church did not sufficiently do so in 2002 and the years that followed. Creating new policies to prevent future abuse are not a sufficient response to the legacy of what happened. Now, in 2018, it is time to lift the veil of any secrecy that remains. If not, the same cases will emerge again and again as if these were a wound that scabs but never heals. Every time that scab is removed it will bleed again and again. As painful as it is now, it is the time to deal with this great injury the church brought upon itself. If anything, the re-emergence of these cases again and again should reveal that this wound has potentially deadly consequences if it is not dealt with completely once and for all.
Update (Aug. 29): Some reactions to this post have asked about the impact of known delays in reporting by victims. There has been no substantial shifting forward in time of the alleged abuse trend between 2002 and 2017. The accusations continue to fit the historical pattern. We would expect the trend to move forward in the last 15 years if reporting delays were evident, but this has not been the case. No new wave of allegations similar to the past has occurred to date. It is also likely that most, if not all, the Pennsylvania cases are already in existing reported accusation totals.
Though there was a spike in the early 1990s of allegations about past sexual abuse, most reports have been made after 2002, regardless of when the abuse was said to have occurred. (CARA)
Update (Aug. 30): We continue to hear feedback about the delays in reporting related to the age of the victim. The data regarding accusations in the Catholic Church specifically appear to be much more event-driven than age-driven. Rather than victims reaching a certain age and coming forward, it has more often been the case that abuse being in the news has led victims to come forward in large numbers. The chart at left is from the John Jay research (Page 9) and shows when allegations were reported up to 2002. One can see the spike in the 1990s, after a series of cases in the news and again in a larger magnitude in 2002 in the wake of news of abuse cases in Boston. Since 2004, new allegations have averaged 618 per year (438 in 2017). Regardless of when reports are made, the accusations often fit the existing pattern described above for when the abuse occurred. Four allegations of abuse occurring in 2017 were made in 2017.

Sunday, August 26, 2018

Funeral Mass - Ruth Murray

A Mass of Christian Burial will be offered for the repose of the soul of Ruth Murray on Tuesday, August 28 at 11:00 a.m. The celebrant will be her nephew Msgr. Robert Robbins. Please pray for her and for her family.

Funeral Mass - Ann Ohlson

A Mass of Christian Burial will be offered for the repose of the soul of Ann Ohlson on Monday, August 27 at 10:00 a.m. Please pray for her and for her family.

Lord, To Whom Shall we Go?

Husbands love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church. Last week I have celebrated 2 weddings at Mt St. Mary College. Both brides were graduates. Holy Rosary Chapel is a lovely spot. In the chapel there is a beautiful mosaic of St. Thomas Aquinas – he defined love as – willing the good of the other. As I spoke to the couples, I reminded them that this was the challenge – to love – in good times and in bad, in sickness and health, to love & honor all the days of life. Marriage can be like a roller coaster – ups & downs – be ready for the downs – and keep loving.

When I was a young priest, I was not ready for the downs. The downs led me to believe – I might have made a mistake being ordained. I remember sitting with my mother over a cup of tea talking about it.

She gave me a look.
First, she said – remember – you took a sacrament – you made a promise to God – God has made a promise to you.
Then – you don’t think your father and I have had difficult times – I had no idea – like a good parent – they had shielded their children from their problems as best they could.  But we love each other.

So, love is a decision – to will the good of the other.

Mother Teresa would often have visitors who wanted to get involved in her work with the poor. They had to attend Mass first. After, she would say – did you watch the priest – the reverence he has for the Host – when he touches the body of Christ? Tomorrow you will go to the House for the Dying – and you will touch the same Body of Christ- Have the same reverence the priest has for the Host.

If only every priest understood that, every bishop understood that, if every person understood that – we would not be where we are today. To touch the Body of Christ.

Some would not accept this teaching about the Body of Christ and many left – Jesus said - are you going to leave me too – just as many people might be wondering today – is this a mistake, should I leave?   Peter was the one – Lord, to whom shall we go, you have the words of everlasting life.  I don’t always like the Church, and parts of her I can’t stand right now. But, I love her, and I made a promise, and God made a promise to me.

In the words of Joshua today – As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!

Monday, August 20, 2018

A Great Sadness

(This is an outline - for the complete homily, it has been recorded on Sound Cloud & posted. Check our Facebook page)

Said more than one – a difficult week to be a Catholic. I’m almost embarrassed to be walking around wearing black.

Felt many different emotions – disbelief – sadness – anger

How could a priest or bishop hurt a young person? I have nieces and nephews – if anything were to happen top them, I don’t know what I would do.

Lives and been hurt – faith has been damaged

Leaders acting more like CEO’s than pastors – showing a basic lack of care for people.

Granted we have come far from 2002 and the Dallas Charter – but clearly we have further to go. So we must continue to speak against any kind of abuse – pray for victim and the church.  Evil has entered in “smoke of Satan.”  Good we pray St. Michael . . .

In a few moments – we will pray the Creed  -  One, Holy, Catholic, Apostolic

Apostolic – Greece – Paul – great Saints – into today.

Catholic – Untouchables

Holy? – Everything about the Church is holy – our church, the Bible, the Sacraments – allow this holiness to enter us.

One – we are not one when we break Commandments – to receive Communion is to be in Communion. Take sin seriously – confess and become what we receive.

Thank you for being here, for being faithful, for supporting your parish and your priests – together may we continue to walk in holiness – as we journey to the kingdom.

Thursday, August 16, 2018

Funeral Mass - Ann Hill

A Mass of Christian Burial will be offered for the repose of the soul of Ann Hill on Thursday, August 16 at 10:00 a.m. Please pray for her and for her family.

Sunday, July 29, 2018

Funeral Mass - Atea Bosaz

A Mass of Christian Burial will be offered for the repose of the soul of Atea Bosaz on Tuesday, July 31 at 10:30 a.m. Please pray for her and for her family.

The Mass

(This homily owes it's inspiration to a sermon delivered by Bishop Robert Barron. His insights were invaluable!)

Imagine accident on Rt 82. Police arrive and begin asking questions – did anyone see what happened? Some did, and they share what they saw. All saw same accident, but from a different perspective. That is one way to look at the Gospels. They are the Gospels of Jesus Christ – but according to MT, MK, LK & JN.
Now all the Gospels speak of a Last Supper. But John does not include the Institution Narrative – This is My Body, this is my Blood. Instead, he expands on the meaning of the Eucharist in John Chapter 6. It is called the Bread of Life Discourse We will read this at Mass for the next few weeks. Today’s story is a great way to understand the Mass!
1)    Went across the Sea of Galilee with a large crowd following. Always a crowd followed Jesus. Just as a crowd gathers here for Mass. Catholic – ages, languages, ethnic groups.
2)    Went up the mountain – always a place to encounter God. See how we go up mountain!
3)    He sat down – what teachers do – Cathedral – Cathedra (chair). We are taught – Liturgy of the Word.
4)    Passover was near – from slavery to freedom. Jesus is new Passover: death to life. So, Jesus fed them – the Liturgy of the Eucharist.  
5)    Took bread, gave thanks, gave it to them – Eucharist! They are hungry – Demi Lovato – 12 hours partying – will that help? – big hug house – will that help? – take a drug – will that help?  May she experience healing. Jesus feeds us with the one thing that will satisfy our hunger – the Bread of Life.
6)    Ate till satisfied – filled with God. They gathered fragments – give to sick or place in tabernacle.
Up the mountain, they were taught, they were fed, they became the mystical Body of Christ – and then, they were called: to bring the Presence to a waiting world!

Thursday, July 26, 2018

Parish Pilgrimage to Greece - Way of St. Paul

Twenty four people will accompany Father Michael as they follow the Way of St. Paul in Greece and Turkey. The Pilgrimage departs this Sunday. Please pray for our Pilgrims!

Assumption of Our Lady - Holy Day of Obligation

Wednesday, August 15 is the Solemnity of the Assumption of Our Lady. It is a Holy Day of Obligation. Masses will be offered on Tuesday, August 14 at 5:30 pm and on Wednesday, August 15 at 7:00 a.m., 12:00 noon and at 7:30 p.m.

Funeral Mass - Kerry Ann Pacacha

A Mass of Christian Burial will be offered for the repose of the soul of Kerry Ann Pacacha on Friday, July 27 at 10:00 a.m. Please pray for her and for her family.

Vocations Q & A Evening

Our own Sister M. Clare (Anna O’Connor), together with Father Michael Connolly, will offer an Evening Q & A about Religious and Diocesan Priesthood Vocations on Tuesday, August 7. You are welcome to come at 7:00 pm in the Adoration Chapel for the Rosary. The Q & A will begin at 7:30 pm in the Library Meeting Room. All welcome!  

Monday, July 16, 2018

Be Faithful

Amazing to think, in three weeks I will be offering Mass in Ephesus – the final resting place of St. John, the home of Mary, the place where Mary was declared Mother of God, the place where St. Paul lived for over 2 years. His letter to the Ephesian today:  God chose us in him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and without blemish before him – so that we might exist for the praise of his glory.

We have a purpose and a goal
What will help us to get there?

Carry a walking stick – Go two by two – shake the dust from your feet.

1)      Carry a walking stick
You need something to lean on – trust in God’s providence.
All happens for a reason – can we trust in God’s love?
King had a falcon that helped him hunt. At the end of the day, began long ride home. Looking for a place to drink – saw some trickling water. As he went to put his cup under the water, the falcon swooped down & knocked it away.
Happened 3 times and king went into a rage. Took out his sword and hacked at the bird.
Then he went to get his drink – but then he finally noticed the source of the spring – dead animal – water was contaminated.
Falcon could see what we couldn’t – can God see what we can’t - does God have a plan?

2)      Go two by two
Genesis – not good for man to be alone.  Need each other.
Communion of saints.  Community of the church.
List of sick - “Through this holy anointing, grant comfort in their suffering. When she is afraid, give her courage, when afflicted, give her patience, when dejected, afford her hope, and when alone, assure her of the support of your holy people.”

3)      Shake dust from feet.
No 100% success rate. Great baseball hitter  .300
Makes out 7 out of 10 times!
Do our best & move on. Let go.
Not everyone will receive you
Not everyone will love you
Not everyone will appreciate you

Bank president was asked– secret to success?  Right decisions
How do you make right decisions – experience
How do you get experience – wrong decisions.

Mother Theresa  – “we are called not to be successful – but to be faithful.”

We know who we are – sons & daughters of God – and where we are going – toward the Kingdom of God. To get there: carry a walking stick, go 2 by 2, shake the dust from your feet! By God’s grace, we will get there!

Wednesday, July 4, 2018

Rules of Civility

What started as a handwriting exercise formed the basis of Washington's moral education.

When George Washington was a 16-year-old schoolboy, he sat down to copy a list of 110 “Rules for Civility” in order to improve his handwriting. The list, which was widely circulated in Washington’s time, has been traced back to a guide to behavior put together by French Jesuits for their young charges in 1595.
Painstakingly copying each of the 110 rules had an effect on more than just the future Father of Our Country’s penmanship. According to Richard Brookhiser, author of Rules of Civility: The 110 Precepts That Guided Our First President in War and Peace, Washington took the 16th-century Jesuit’s rules very much to heart, and relied on them in the course of his military and political career.
Covering everything from the strange and obscure (“Kill no vermin, or fleas, lice, ticks, etc. in the sight of others”) to serious ethical questions (“Wherein you reprove another be unblameable yourself, for example is more prevalent than precepts”), the rules form a road map to treating others with courtesy, respect, and civility, which Washington followed throughout his public life.
Here are all of the 110 “Rules of Civility” below, with modernized spelling and punctuation, courtesy of NPR:
  1. Every action done in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those that are present.
  2. When in company, put not your hands to any part of the body not usually discovered.
  3. Show nothing to your friend that may affright him.
  4. In the presence of others, sing not to yourself with a humming voice, or drum with your fingers or feet.
  5. If you cough, sneeze, sigh or yawn, do it not loud but privately, and speak not in your yawning, but put your handkerchief or hand before your face and turn aside.
  6. Sleep not when others speak, sit not when others stand, speak not when you should hold your peace, walk not on when others stop.
  7. Put not off your clothes in the presence of others, nor go out of your chamber half dressed.
  8. At play and attire, it’s good manners to give place to the last comer, and affect not to speak louder than ordinary.
  9. Spit not into the fire, nor stoop low before it; neither put your hands into the flames to warm them, nor set your feet upon the fire, especially if there be meat before it.
  10. When you sit down, keep your feet firm and even, without putting one on the other or crossing them.
  11. Shift not yourself in the sight of others, nor gnaw your nails.
  12. Shake not the head, feet, or legs; roll not the eyes; lift not one eyebrow higher than the other, wry not the mouth, and bedew no man’s face with your spittle by approaching too near him when you speak.
  13. Kill no vermin, or fleas, lice, ticks, etc. in the sight of others; if you see any filth or thick spittle put your foot dexterously upon it; if it be upon the clothes of your companions, put it off privately, and if it be upon your own clothes, return thanks to him who puts it off.
  14. Turn not your back to others, especially in speaking; jog not the table or desk on which another reads or writes; lean not upon anyone.
  15. Keep your nails clean and short, also your hands and teeth clean, yet without showing any great concern for them.
  16. Do not puff up the cheeks, loll not out the tongue with the hands or beard, thrust out the lips or bite them, or keep the lips too open or too close.
  17. Be no flatterer, neither play with any that delight not to be played withal.
  18. Read no letter, books, or papers in company, but when there is a necessity for the doing of it, you must ask leave; come not near the books or writtings of another so as to read them unless desired, or give your opinion of them unasked. Also look not nigh when another is writing a letter.
  19. Let your countenance be pleasant but in serious matters somewhat grave.
  20. The gestures of the body must be suited to the discourse you are upon.
  21. Reproach none for the infirmities of nature, nor delight to put them that have in mind of thereof.
  22. Show not yourself glad at the misfortune of another though he were your enemy.
  23. When you see a crime punished, you may be inwardly pleased; but always show pity to the suffering offender.
  24. Do not laugh too loud or too much at any public spectacle.
  25. Superfluous compliments and all affectation of ceremonies are to be avoided, yet where due they are not to be neglected.
  26. In putting off your hat to persons of distinction, as noblemen, justices, churchmen, etc., make a reverence, bowing more or less according to the custom of the better bred, and quality of the persons. Among your equals expect not always that they should begin with you first, but to pull off the hat when there is no need is affectation. In the manner of saluting and resaluting in words, keep to the most usual custom.
  27. ‘Tis ill manners to bid one more eminent than yourself be covered, as well as not to do it to whom it is due. Likewise he that makes too much haste to put on his hat does not well, yet he ought to put it on at the first, or at most the second time of being asked. Now what is herein spoken, of qualification in behavior in saluting, ought also to be observed in taking of place and sitting down, for ceremonies without bounds are troublesome.
  28. If any one come to speak to you while you are are sitting stand up, though he be your inferior, and when you present seats, let it be to everyone according to his degree.
  29. When you meet with one of greater quality than yourself, stop and retire, especially if it be at a door or any straight place, to give way for him to pass.
  30. In walking, the highest place in most countries seems to be on the right hand; therefore, place yourself on the left of him whom you desire to honor. But if three walk together the middest place is the most honorable; the wall is usally given to the most worthy if two walk together.
  31. If anyone far surpasses others, either in age, estate, or merit, yet would give place to a meaner than himself in his own lodging or elsewhere, the one ought not to except it. So he on the other part should not use much earnestness nor offer it above once or twice.
  32. To one that is your equal, or not much inferior, you are to give the chief place in your lodging, and he to whom it is offered ought at the first to refuse it, but at the second to accept though not without acknowledging his own unworthiness.
  33. They that are in dignity or in office have in all places precedency, but whilst they are young, they ought to respect those that are their equals in birth or other qualities, though they have no public charge.
  34. It is good manners to prefer them to whom we speak before ourselves, especially if they be above us, with whom in no sort we ought to begin.
  35. Let your discourse with men of business be short and comprehensive.
  36. Artificers and persons of low degree ought not to use many ceremonies to lords or others of high degree, but respect and highly honor then, and those of high degree ought to treat them with affability and courtesy, without arrogance.
  37. In speaking to men of quality do not lean nor look them full in the face, nor approach too near them at left. Keep a full pace from them.
  38. In visiting the sick, do not presently play the physician if you be not knowing therein.
  39. In writing or speaking, give to every person his due title according to his degree and the custom of the place.
  40. Strive not with your superior in argument, but always submit your judgment to others with modesty.
  41. Undertake not to teach your equal in the art himself professes; it savors of arrogancy.
  42. Let your ceremonies in courtesy be proper to the dignity of his place with whom you converse, for it is absurd to act the same with a clown and a prince.
  43. Do not express joy before one sick in pain, for that contrary passion will aggravate his misery.
  44. When a man does all he can, though it succeed not well, blame not him that did it.
  45. Being to advise or reprehend any one, consider whether it ought to be in public or in private, and presently or at some other time; in what terms to do it; and in reproving show no signs of cholor but do it with all sweetness and mildness.
  46. Take all admonitions thankfully in what time or place soever given, but afterwards not being culpable take a time and place convenient to let him know it that gave them.
  47. Mock not nor jest at any thing of importance. Break no jests that are sharp, biting, and if you deliver any thing witty and pleasant, abstain from laughing thereat yourself.
  48. Wherein you reprove another be unblameable yourself, for example is more prevalent than precepts.
  49. Use no reproachful language against any one; neither curse nor revile.
  50. Be not hasty to believe flying reports to the disparagement of any.
  51. Wear not your clothes foul, or ripped, or dusty, but see they be brushed once every day at least and take heed that you approach not to any uncleaness.
  52. In your apparel be modest and endeavor to accommodate nature, rather than to procure admiration; keep to the fashion of your equals, such as are civil and orderly with respect to time and places.
  53. Run not in the streets, neither go too slowly, nor with mouth open; go not shaking of arms, nor upon the toes, kick not the earth with your feet, go not upon the toes, nor in a dancing fashion.
  54. Play not the peacock, looking every where about you, to see if you be well decked, if your shoes fit well, if your stockings sit neatly and clothes handsomely.
  55. Eat not in the streets, nor in the house, out of season.
  56. Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for ’tis better to be alone than in bad company.
  57. In walking up and down in a house, only with one in company if he be greater than yourself, at the first give him the right hand and stop not till he does and be not the first that turns, and when you do turn let it be with your face towards him; if he be a man of great quality walk not with him cheek by jowl but somewhat behind him, but yet in such a manner that he may easily speak to you.
  58. Let your conversation be without malice or envy, for ’tis a sign of a tractable and commendable nature, and in all causes of passion permit reason to govern.
  59. Never express anything unbecoming, nor act against the rules moral before your inferiors.
  60. Be not immodest in urging your friends to discover a secret.
  61. Utter not base and frivolous things among grave and learned men, nor very difficult questions or subjects among the ignorant, or things hard to be believed; stuff not your discourse with sentences among your betters nor equals.
  62. Speak not of doleful things in a time of mirth or at the table; speak not of melancholy things as death and wounds, and if others mention them, change if you can the discourse. Tell not your dreams, but to your intimate friend.
  63. A man ought not to value himself of his achievements or rare qualities of wit; much less of his riches, virtue or kindred.
  64. Break not a jest where none take pleasure in mirth; laugh not aloud, nor at all without occasion; deride no man’s misfortune though there seem to be some cause.
  65. Speak not injurious words neither in jest nor earnest; scoff at none although they give occasion.
  66. Be not froward but friendly and courteous, the first to salute, hear and answer; and be not pensive when it’s a time to converse.
  67. Detract not from others, neither be excessive in commanding.
  68. Go not thither, where you know not whether you shall be welcome or not; give not advice without being asked, and when desired do it briefly.
  69. If two contend together take not the part of either unconstrained, and be not obstinate in your own opinion. In things indifferent be of the major side.
  70. Reprehend not the imperfections of others, for that belongs to parents, masters and superiors.
  71. Gaze not on the marks or blemishes of others and ask not how they came. What you may speak in secret to your friend, deliver not before others.
  72. Speak not in an unknown tongue in company but in your own language and that as those of quality do and not as the vulgar. Sublime matters treat seriously.
  73. Think before you speak, pronounce not imperfectly, nor bring out your words too hastily, but orderly and distinctly.
  74. When another speaks, be attentive yourself and disturb not the audience. If any hesitate in his words, help him not nor prompt him without desired. Interrupt him not, nor answer him till his speech be ended.
  75. In the midst of discourse ask not of what one treats, but if you perceive any stop because of your coming, you may well entreat him gently to proceed. If a person of quality comes in while you’re conversing, it’s handsome to repeat what was said before.
  76. While you are talking, point not with your finger at him of whom you discourse, nor approach too near him to whom you talk, especially to his face.
  77. Treat with men at fit times about business and whisper not in the company of others.
  78. Make no comparisons and if any of the company be commended for any brave act of virtue, commend not another for the same.
  79. Be not apt to relate news if you know not the truth thereof. In discoursing of things you have heard, name not your author. Always a secret discover not.
  80. Be not tedious in discourse or in reading unless you find the company pleased therewith.
  81. Be not curious to know the affairs of others, neither approach those that speak in private.
  82. Undertake not what you cannot perform but be careful to keep your promise.
  83. When you deliver a matter do it without passion and with discretion, however mean the person be you do it to.
  84. When your superiors talk to anybody hearken not, neither speak nor laugh.
  85. In company of those of higher quality than yourself, speak not ’til you are asked a question, then stand upright, put off your hat and answer in few words.
  86. In disputes, be not so desirous to overcome as not to give liberty to each one to deliver his opinion and submit to the judgment of the major part, especially if they are judges of the dispute.
  87. Let your carriage be such as becomes a man grave, settled and attentive to that which is spoken. Contradict not at every turn what others say.
  88. Be not tedious in discourse, make not many digressions, nor repeat often the same manner of discourse.
  89. Speak not evil of the absent, for it is unjust.
  90. Being set at meat scratch not, neither spit, cough or blow your nose except there’s a necessity for it.
  91. Make no show of taking great delight in your victuals. Feed not with greediness. Eat your bread with a knife. Lean not on the table, neither find fault with what you eat.
  92. Take no salt or cut bread with your knife greasy.
  93. Entertaining anyone at table it is decent to present him with meat. Undertake not to help others undesired by the master.
  94. If you soak bread in the sauce, let it be no more than what you put in your mouth at a time, and blow not your broth at table but stay ’til it cools of itself.
  95. Put not your meat to your mouth with your knife in your hand; neither spit forth the stones of any fruit pie upon a dish nor cast anything under the table.
  96. It’s unbecoming to heap much to one’s mea. Keep your fingers clean and when foul wipe them on a corner of your table napkin.
  97. Put not another bite into your mouth ’til the former be swallowed. Let not your morsels be too big for the jowls.
  98. Drink not nor talk with your mouth full; neither gaze about you while you are drinking.
  99. Drink not too leisurely nor yet too hastily. Before and after drinking wipe your lips. Breathe not then or ever with too great a noise, for it is uncivil.
  100. Cleanse not your teeth with the tablecloth, napkin, fork or knife, but if others do it, let it be done with a pick tooth.
  101. Rinse not your mouth in the presence of others.
  102. It is out of use to call upon the company often to eat. Nor need you drink to others every time you drink.
  103. In company of your betters be not longer in eating than they are. Lay not your arm but only your hand upon the table.
  104. It belongs to the chiefest in company to unfold his napkin and fall to meat first. But he ought then to begin in time and to dispatch with dexterity that the slowest may have time allowed him.
  105. Be not angry at table whatever happens and if you have reason to be so, show it not but on a cheerful countenance especially if there be strangers, for good humor makes one dish of meat a feast.
  106. Set not yourself at the upper of the table but if it be your due, or that the master of the house will have it so. Contend not, lest you should trouble the company.
  107. If others talk at table be attentive, but talk not with meat in your mouth.
  108. When you speak of God or His attributes, let it be seriously and with reverence. Honor and obey your natural parents although they be poor.
  109. Let your recreations be manful not sinful.
  110. Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.

Funeral Mass - Isabel McAdams

A Mass of Christian Burial will be offered for the repose of the soul of Isabel McAdams on Friday, July 6 at 10:00 a.m. Please pray for her and for her family.